'You are judged by the company you keep.' I was told that long years ago when I felt it was necessary to befriend someone other people were prepared to shun. She didn't deserve the shunning. It was a bullying move. Her opinions weren't in line with those that shunned her. I found though that those opinions were in line with my own. That was my first foray into choosing family or tribe building as you put it. But now I find that my efforts, like yours, are more often opposite to these. Instead I find that I have to winnow out more than I gather in. There are certain views, certain words spoken, certain actions performed that cannot and must not be tolerated. I've found I can be ruthless when I believe justice and sense has been abused. But then I'm older now and I simply don't care what IdIots, racists, -phobics and misogynists to name a few, think anymore. They aren't part of my chosen family.